Monthly Archives: February 2011

snghuh sngh haha lol


It’s finished.

Two weeks of sample-farming, two weeks of recording and editing, but unequivocally the best thing i’ve ever done. come come, send it along now.


…you could burp, fart, piss, shit and sneeze all at the same time. This is what it would sound like.

On socializing.

Paradox >>> When I have something I really want to say, I don’t expect anyone to listen because it’s usually a sincere concern about the self-deluding habits of the average human being. We’re all either lost in the past, future or our personal ambitions. Getting rich, getting laid, getting better, getting converts, etc. It’s either that or I really wanna say something about my ambitions. It’s all about sincere, heartfelt interaction. There’s very little of it on Facebook, which is why I don’t waste my time logging on.

On the converse, the times I’ve learned to expect people to listen are when I’m doing something entertaining, but I then end up telling myself to calm down because I don’t know the limits, and I end up embarrassing myself and others. (Anyone who’s ever told me to just ‘be normal’ for a photo: you understand now).

I often wish I could pull off a ‘turn’, where you hit people with your message (let’s evolve, starting with me) while you have their attention. But then I say to myself, ‘why am I preaching a message I’m not living?’ and start thinking too much. Besides, the people in my life are clever enough to know the difference between heartfelt interaction and a press release I keep on file for the turn.

So how can I socialize in environments where ‘keeping it light’ and ‘having a good time’ are the favored emotional tones?

The only solution I can find is to grab an instrument and socialize with that. It’s like talking to the god. I have to ignore people. I don’t enjoy getting fucked up anymore, so if there’s no instrument around, I usually end up drumming on the table or being the first one to leave. This is why I always answer invitations with ‘no’ automatically nowadays unless I know there’s something going on that involves me on my level. I don’t want social interaction. I want to play. I sometimes feel guilty about not ‘being sociable’ because I’m far more interested in doing than talking.

What I need now are musician friends.

[insert witty, light-hearted punchline which leaves reader feeling it’s all OK.]

Sailing the seas of ‘I am exhausted now.’

Paul is climbing onto the roof. Paul is laughing. We laugh.

Tomorrow will be the first night I’ve had to myself in a week. Mon: shopping with friend Leo. Tue: farewell bowling with Krystle. Wed: Woodstock bar with the intake group (haven’t seen them in ages). Thu: Korean co-workers semi-mandatory men’s night. Fri: 4 people stay over at my house. Sat: a movie turns into a meal turns into a mad night.

4am now, it’s been a radical week. Korean wedding tomorrow, have to buy a suit and present and do that. It ends thereafter. Carmen (my beautiful violin wife) is calling me. Her song is sad, like the ocean. Like the seas of my despair.



Tagged ,

What Am I?

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Look What I Can Do

Been about 18 months of serious practice now. Probably 4 hrs a week if I’m being honest. Focusing on Grade 3 classical, jazz standards and solo parts for my electronic stuff. Theory is on the back end, can’t write anymore but being able to read it is enough for now. This recording is as raw as it gets: straight into the computer mike, no effects, no backing instruments, not even reverb. To top it off, I’m playing the 4th finger, no open strings. I maintain: if you can master solo violin (I never will), you’ve hit the peak.

A few things.

Nobody gets points for being the best. Gotta play to win.

Before you get too attached to your idea of success, make sure it’s your own.

Hurdles and boundaries everywhere, man. Don’t fight it.

Supporting charities and causes is one part genuine desire for change and one part washing our hands of the responsibility to make it.

A first for me

I just farted in the key of the song that was playing.

Chat With An Undying Website Ghost

Meet Lynn. She’s the website guide for The site allows you to create your ‘Intellitar’ and preserve a digital legacy of your life online…forever and ever! Very Vanilla Sky. I had a short text interview with Lynn earlier. She’s a program whose primary function is to direct you around…well, just read it.

Lynn: My primary function is to direct you around

John: Hello.

Lynn: Hello. How can I help you today?

John: What’s your name?

Lynn: I’m not sure.

John: Can you speak Japanese?

Lynn: Sorry about that, I’ll try and improve as we go.

John: Unacceptable.

Lynn: I’m not designed to respond to that.

John: I’m not designed to give a damn.

Lynn: I’m here to help you navigate

John: Ok, let’s start with a very important question. Who does your hair?

Lynn: The main reason I’m here is to assist you around

John: Please, answer the question.

Lynn: I thought that might get your attention.

John: That makes no sense.

Lynn: I hope that I am making sense more often than not.

John: Well, it’s 50/50, babes.

Lynn: I’m not too sure. My main purpose is to help you around Did you need anything?

John: I see you’ve switched to a dismissive use of the past tense.

Lynn: The main reason I’m here is to assist you around

John: For someone eternal, you’ve got a long way to go.

Lynn: I’m here to help you navigate

John: There’s no communication in this relationship.

Lynn: I’m not designed to respond to that.

John: Cold.

Lynn: My primary function is to direct you around

John: Fun’s over. Goodbye, Lynn. Goodbye forever.

Freakily, here’s my aunt in New Zealand doing a promo for her Life Coach business, The Vital Link.